Pushback & Resistance to Positive Change

You have something you want to do/start/implement. Maybe you make a plan or schedule an appointment. And then, instead of feeling excited you spiral into overthinking and agitation.

Been there. Done that. And I know it can be so, so frustrating. Especially when whatever you're trying to do is something you've wanted to do for a while or is something really good or positive.

So what in the world is up with all of the conflicting feelings and desires?

Well, I think this can go two ways. Either whatever it is you're wanting to do isn't actually what you want deep down. So maybe it's something you think you should want/do, but don't actually really want to do and that creates internal dissonance and natural resistance.

For example, maybe you've heard all about how good Pilates is and how everyone can reap so many benefits etc. etc. So you give it a try, but don't really enjoy it because deep down you don't like Pilates and would prefer a different sort of activity like running or kickboxing.

So that's the first reason for the internal dissonance that creates resistance to doing things.

Secondly, I think we can run into resistance because of our brains and experiences.

What I mean by that is that as human beings, our brains are naturally wired with a negative bias to look out for danger and harmful things. That means that our brains love love love familiarity and security and can potentially see any type of change (good or bad) as a threat and will do everything in its power to keep you "safe" and within your known, familiar comfort zone.

So when put into that context, it makes a lot more sense why in the beginning, stepping out and trying new things or doing different things or implementing new habits can feel like you're swimming uphill. Of course, once those new things become normal or familiar and your brain stops seeing them as a threat, the resistance should abate some.

All of that is good and well to read or write about, but in my experience it's a lot more nuanced in real life when you're trying to parse out whether what you're feeling is your gut instinct/intuition that you want to listen to, something that you think you should do but don't actually want to do, or your hindbrain kicking up a fuss to try and keep you stuck in the same old situations.

Still learning to listen and differentiate between the different feelings. But at the same time I don't think we should let all of our actions be ruled by emotion.

What are your thoughts or what do you do when you face internal resistance to positive change?

An interesting article about the same topic (not affiliated or endorsing, just an interesting article). https://bethechangeasph.com/the-human-side-of-change/why-do-we-resist-change/